Tuesday, March 31, 2009


This four legged Tsukumogami is another variation of a household spirit evolved from a common kitchen blender.

See also: Blender Crab

Monday, March 30, 2009

Ocular Weed

A mobile, carnivorous plant that sits atop the Amazon jungle food chain. An exceedingly rare species, the native name for which translates as "Baby snatcher."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Rampu Supritto

More tsukumogami fun, this one a spirit evolved from a common floor lamp.

Saturday, March 28, 2009


A hideous soul devouring demon summoned by a cult of degenerate sycophants to bring about the end of the world, but due to a misalignment of cosmic forces became trapped within a common kitchen Refrigerator. Fridigious hates mankind and everything to do with him. He especially hates cold, and when people drink all the milk but put the jug back in with only an inch left.

Friday, March 27, 2009


The infamous Chupacabra (Goat Sucker) grew to prominence during the late 80s after a series of cattle deaths in Puerto Rico. Unlike more traditional cattle mutilations encountered on the mainland for decades (and usually associated with UFO activity,) these animals were left largely intact, but drained of blood and with two vampire like puncture wounds. This eventually lead to near mass hysteria and army units attempting to hunt down the creature.

Sightings of the Chupacabra eventually spread to mainland Central and South America, and even to the southwestern United States. Descriptions vary, but over time a rough idea emerged of a somewhat bipedal, reptilian creature with large "Alien Grey" eyes and spines along it's back.

In 2006 the first video of a mangy, scaly, bluish dog-like creature emerged in Texas. Subsequently several animals have either been killed or found dead. Although these strange hairless animals could very well be the "real" Chupacabras, they seem a far cry from the hideous creatures that have been reported in the past.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Farceur d'Enfer

(In commemoration of the Power Ranger's final season, it's time for a few Sentai-like characters.)

A former French circus acrobat who has joined the forces of evil, Farceur d'Enfer (Hell Jester) uses his acrobatic ability as the basis of a bizarre, dance-like martial art.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Small, squid-like demons that live in the deeper cracks and crevices of the abyss. Unlike other aforementioned Demonic wildlife , Cephalites are highly intelligent, and have their own agenda. They sometimes act as servants to higher demon lords, but more often than not can be found preying on those who enter their territory.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Another tsukumogami, this one born from a kitchen coffee maker. He's constantly wired, up all night, jittery and nervous. He as automatic brewing functions that no one uses or can even figure out. However much he may splash or overflow he has our loyalty, because we just can't face the morning without him. We salute you.

Monday, March 23, 2009


A tsukumogami evolved from a popular computer brand. People like to use him because his brand has lots style but to those used to his competition his operating system is ass-backwards. He's just as expensive as a normal PC, but has one tenth of the available software, and games? Forget it. He excels in processing audio and video, and many use him to actually write software. Too bad none of that software is actually for him. Plus his mouse only has one damn button. Would it kill them to put a second one?

In truth he's been setting up nationwide brand stores with others of his ilk to one day rise up and destroy mankind. The day will come when we will all be slaves to the "Eye-Life."

Sunday, March 22, 2009


You scream, I scream, we all scream, for OH MY GOD! WHAT IS IT!? RUN! IT'S GOT MY LEG! NOOOOO! RUN!

Saturday, March 21, 2009


Large, lumbering purple ogres, the Goberians are the manual labor of the universe. Originally from a large planet orbiting a dying sun, their race developed immense strength due to higher native gravity. Inherently peaceful and loyal, they travel the galaxy in bands, finding work in construction projects and the like.

They like bananas.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Hydrant Supritto

A tsukumogami formed from a fire hydrant. His job is to put out fires wherever he finds them. He does not like your dog.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Crabmites are small, semi-intelligent predatory crab-like beings that inhabit rocky areas along the beach. They have been observed displaying complicated social behaviors, such as nominating leaders through combat, engaging in "war" with other crabmite bands, and keeping "slaves." A crabmite warren is a series of tunnels in which they live (similar to rabbit warrens) and may extend for several miles. Due to thier size they tend to avoid larger animals, however they tend to hunt in highly organized packs and have been observed attacking prey five times thier size.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Purple Muncher

A Gulper with little legs,
uses his arms to walk instead,
He has like his cousins, one big eye,
and a tuft of hair on his head.
Hes' not as voracious or greedy
His manner is slightly tame,
but turn your back or ignore him,
And he'll eat you just the same.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


A tsukumogami evolved from a popular brand of mp3 player. He's small and difficult to use, but everyone likes him because he's stylish. The ridiculous wheel thingy used to actually select songs is so counter intuitive you're better off just leaving him on shuffle and hoping what you want comes up. He is personally responsible for causing untold traffic accidents as people fiddle with this labyrithine interface when they should be paying attention to the road. He could just have one button to select the next damn song, but that would be too easy.

He also likes taking all of your legally owned mp3s that you ripped from your own legally purchased CDs and slapping them with his own brand of digital rights management so that you can then on only place them on a limited number of machines. He then forces you to buy the same music at a lower quality with the same draconian restrictions imposed. He does this because he can.

Yes, he is truly evil, and should be stomped out of existence.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Zothxitchil, the Consumer

The origin of the creature known as Zothxitchil is lost in the mists of time. What is known is that he/she/it is millions upon millions of years old, a stranded member of an extra-dimensional race. He is trapped in our dimension, and as such in order to survive must consume the life energies of living things. Having watched entire races evolve and die out during his own lifetime coupled with the pain and loneliness of knowing he can never get home has driven the being hopelessly insane. He has long since given up any chance of ever returning to his home dimension, Zothxitchil no longer cares about the lives of other sentients, and wanders through our universe, feeding on those who cross his path.

An entry into a friend of mine's contest to design a giant monster: Check my Deviant art page for more: [Link]

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Took lives up in the frozen North,
His hat is the only thing he owns of worth,
Has three eyes, four legs, and teeth,
Lives in the snow, never goes to the beach.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


Tales of Trolls go back centuries. The size and shape of the particular beast varies from country to country, but generally they are of a roughly human form, greater than average size (mostly giants,) and posses a below average intelligence. In the more fantastic tales they may have animal features - tusks, horns, trunks, multiple eyes, etc, as well as magical powers and weaknesses. In Sweedish folktales, direct sunlight will turn trolls into stone.

I imagine them as a degenerate offshoot of humanity, split off from our neolithic ancestors, afflicted with chronic genetic disorders, devolved into near-beasts from centuries of inbreeding. This would also explain the many folk-tales of trolls stealing human babies in order to bolster their number.

Friday, March 13, 2009


Clovermelon is destroying the city, but he doesn't mean to. He's lost, and scared, and is merely lashing out in fear. Too bad for the rest of us.

Someone has already asked me who it was that took a bite out of him. I do not know.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


More tsukumogami fun (they seem to be everywhere nowadays...) this one a common type of basketball shoe, sprung to life after 100 years. He gives his wearer that extra boost, and helps white men to jump. The Conversaur feeds on shoe polish and odor eaters.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Not quite a tsukumogami, but close - instead he is a disembodied alien spirit called forth from the void by his evil alien overlords to destroy mankind... it just so happens the engine of destruction that was chosen for this task was a bowl of Ramen noodles. We wish him luck with that.

Inspired by the Noodle Jingin from Choujin Sentai Jetman.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Rock Crawler

As a child, I was always fascinated by the fact that one could go to the nearest rock in the yard, lift it up, and be confronted with a bizarre assortment of creepy crawly bugs and creatures. Thus the Rock Crawler: A soft, jelly like land dwelling celaphod-like creature. The bony protrusions are actually an extremely hardened type of cartilage, not true horns or bone. I imagine colonies of these living in the cracks under boulders and within mountains.

Monday, March 9, 2009


A tsukumogami spawned from the throne of every household. As you can imagine, a beast who's spent so long dealing with the business end of human waste disposal would have a pretty "crappy" attitude (badump-cha!)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Big Head

Big Head doesn't like wearing wigs
That is his name, 'cause his head is very big
He's the creepiest freak that you've ever seen,
His body is too small, and his scales are green
Is he part lizard? No one will ever know
Why is he running? Where will he go?

Saturday, March 7, 2009


A tsukumogami spawned from a classic gaming system. When he's not in the closet gathering dust he's hunting through garage sales and thrift stores for Cartridge-fish to eat. Occasionally he's brought out to re-experience the classics, but lately has been falling into disuse becasue of emulation. He is jealous of your Xbox 360.

If you have trouble using him, take out the cartridge, blow into it, repeat.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Professor Squidhead

A scientist wracked with insanity, young Professor Donaldson was the world's leading researcher of celaphod genetics. Donaldson eventually became convinced that Squids were the evolutionary precursors to mankind. The laughing stock of the scientific community, Donaldson continued his work in private, finally isolating what he called the "Prometheus Gene" from multiple breeds of common squid. Donaldson engineered a retrovirus with gene and injected himself, transforming into the hideous Professor Squidhead! Those who laughed at him now run in fear...

Thursday, March 5, 2009


Mouseapede doesn't like to eat leaves,
Actually he's more interested in cheese,
Eats and sleeps all day, not much else to do,
Except wonder what he'll eventually turn into.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Abaddon, Lord of the Pit

From Revelation 9:1 - 11

And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star from heaven fallen unto the earth: and there was given to him the key of the pit of the abyss.
And he opened the pit of the abyss; and there went up a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit.

And out of the smoke came forth locusts upon the earth; and power was given them, as the scorpions of the earth have power.

And it was said unto them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree, but only such men as have not the seal of God on their foreheads.

And it was given them that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when it striketh a man.

And in those days men shall seek death, and shall in no wise find it; and they shall desire to die, and death fleeth from them.

And the shapes of the locusts were like unto horses prepared for war; and upon their heads as it were crowns like unto gold, and their faces were as men's faces.

And they had hair as the hair of women, and their teeth were as teeth of lions.

And they had breastplates, as it were breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was as the sound of chariots, of many horses rushing to war.

And they have tails like unto scorpions, and stings; and in their tails is their power to hurt men five months.

They have over them as king the angel of the abyss: his name in Hebrew is Abaddon, and in the Greek tongue he hath the name Apollyon.

Abaddon is the fallen angel who has the "key to the pit," whereupon giant hideous locusts are released to horribly gnaw upon mankind, without actually killing them. He has been identified with Satan, with the Greek God Apollo, the Angel of Death, and (according to Jehovah's Witnesses) with Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Mongolian Death Snail

Oversized, carnivorous snails that thrive in the heat of the Mongolian deserts. Unlike every other mollusk on Earth, this particular breed of snail enjoys the dust and dry conditions. To adapt to desert life the snails turned predatory. Sharp bony teeth and powerful acids can dissolve prey in a matter of minutes. Their fierce reputation comes the suprise desert travels often find of their skeletal victims.

Monday, March 2, 2009


An engineer from a space faring race stranded on Earth, given the nickname "Shovelhead" by his government captors. His race descended from sea dwelling manta ray-like creatures.

He's addicted to diet soda and TV.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


The Manticore is anther chimera, a creature which is made up of different body parts from different animals. Medieval bestiaries describe the creature as hailing from India, with the face of a man and a "musical voice." The creature could also posses one or more of the following: A scaled body like a crocodile, a mane like a lion, wings like a dragon, and the tail of a scorpion with which poison barbs can be flung like arrows. Modern research has poinpointed this laundry list of frightful imagry as a distorted description of the Indian Tiger. The root word from which "Manticore" is derieved means "Man eater."