Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Kentucky Goblin

A bizarre, 3 foot tall, floppy eared creature, a group of which tormented the Sutton family farmhouse in Hopskinsville, Kentucky, on August 21st 1955. Firing on the creatures produced a noise like bullets ricocheting off of metal. For several hours sightings of the creatures in windows and doorways were met with shotgun blasts. The strange beings retreated once sheriff officers arrived, but returned briefly the next day. In addition a green light was seen in the woods along with other UFO activity.

I would hate to think that an advanced species flew all this way just to land at a farmhouse full of drunken slackjawed yokels.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


A tribe of bizarre anthropomorphic mushroom people from originally from an isolated south seas island. Not a very agile race, they lie in wait in the forests under thick foliage for passers by to infest with spores. Once assimilated they share a collective mind, where the individual lives in an idyllic hallucinatory dreamland.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mush Mouth

Originally a mere pile of mud, the creature known as Mush Mouth was formed with dark magics and arcane sciences to destroy mankind.

More creatures inspired by Sentai. Why stop now?

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Hell-Creme Man

You scream,
I scream,
We all scream,

Another sentai, power-rangers like villain. Still can't believe it's been canceled.

See also: Skullcreme

Sunday, April 26, 2009


The Mothman is a strange, giant, winged creature that seems to be associated with accidents or large loss of life. These creatures seem to be benevolent despite their demonic appearance - they tend to show up around areas of pending disaster, as if trying to warn people of imminent danger. That being said, their method of communication seems to be scaring the bejesus out of people so they'll run away. However there are no cases of a creature actually physically harming anyone.

I imagine them as extra-dimensional entities, who's physical appearance in our dimension is flavored by the fears of the observer. Although no one seems to have gotten a clear look at them, the few features they all share (very tall, wings, large, glowing eyes) seems to be drawn on our own subconscious imagery of what "danger" would look like. This makes me wonder if this is intentional? Perhaps these beings are unable to communicate with us directly, so the next best thing is to assume an evil demonic shape and scare everyone away before the reactor goes critical? Mothman has been seen Chernobyl, at the World Trade center, and most famously at the Sliver Bridge on Dec.15 1967 as depicted in the Movie "The Mothman Chronicles."

However much I would like to think such a creature is benevolent, that would not stop me from running if I were to encounter one.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


Young, immature dragons, not yet old enough to leave the nest. Drakes possess a natural curiosity about the world, and have a personality akin to young puppies. They spend their days playing, exploring, and learning the skills they'll need to grow into the terrible firebreathing engines of destructions of their parentage.

Friday, April 24, 2009


The Nurikabe is a traditional Japanese Tsukumogami born from a wall. He has the ability stretch his body to obstruct a traveler in any direction indefinitely. To dispose of him one must knock on the lower part of the wall.

Not the kind of ghost you want to tick off, else he may fall flat on you.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Dinnerware Sejin

A Tsukumogami born from a set of antique dishes. He doesn't like it when you pile him up in the sink and forget to wash him for days at a time.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Hydra

The Hydra was a huge, multi-headed dragon, the guardian of an underwater passage to the Underworld. The Greek demigod Hercules was tasked to kill the Hydra as one of his twelve labors. As he decapitated each head another grew in it's place, it wasn't until he cauterized each stump that the beast was finally slain. Hercules dipped his arrows in the Hydra's poison blood, and the pollution caused by this act made all of the fish in the river Anigrus inedible.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


A Bizarre genetic accident involving octopus, crab, sunflower, and onion DNA has resulted in the hideous mutant monstrosity known as the Floppypop. Despite it's freakish appearance it's quite docile, and is quickly being domesticated for meat consumption.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Squid Spawn

Degenerate spawn of the Pollyoptris. The gladiatorial creatures are engineered to be born sterile, however they have been known to occasionally spontaneously breed if the conditions are right. Nests of such spawn are considered vermin must be destroyed immediately, as the creature in it's "natural"state has a tendency to multiply uncontrollably.

Sunday, April 19, 2009


The Oni is the equivalent of a demon, troll, or orge in Japanese folklore. Like their western counterparts they're usually depicted as large, hideous, and not too bright. However Japanese orges are schooled in the magical arts to a larger degree, often possessing the ability to turn invisible, transform into animals, fly, etc. They are commonly depicted in a red or bule color, with wild hair, fangs, claws, and carrying an iron club ( kanabō. )

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Clown Crab

I just don't know anymore.

Friday, April 17, 2009


Berry clops is mean. He does not taste good on your cereal.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Another scientific reject, Manodracs are bizarre little hybrids of human and dragon DNA. Although they have escaped and are breeding in the wild, the authorities assure us all there will be no extensive environmental damage.

See also: Manosaur

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


One eyed, many armed demons that fill some of Hell's lower ranks. The Armatrix is extremely agile and capable of engaging multiple opponents at once.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Mail Eater

A Tsukumogami evolved from an ordinary Post Office Box. Through the rain, sleet, or snow, the mail trudges on... to bite your hand off.

Monday, April 13, 2009


Part rabbit, part chicken. Like the Onionpus this creature was developed in a laboratory to help ease world hunger, an attempt that has backfired. Although it's meat is reportedly incredibly tender, most of the world's major religions have designated this animal as "unclean," thus many in the starving developing world won't eat it. In addition the few specimens which have escaped into the wild have outbred and displaced local rabbit populations and have become a virtual plauge for farmers.

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Dragons are large reptilian beasts that are known to cultures the world over in one form or another. The actual morphology of the dragon differs as much as the culture in question. Dragons can have two, four, or no limbs, be winged or wingless, live in caves or in the heavens. Unlike their Eastern Counterparts the Western Dragon is an embodiment of evil, and will slaughter villages, poison water sources, spew fire or venom, and demand virgin sacrifice. In the Middle Ages the dragon became a symbol for the forces of righteousness (in this case, Christianity) to defeat in order to preserve civilization. Folk tales are bursting with stories of such beasts dispatched by kings, knights, and even children. However the image of the dragon was also appropriated into the crests of several royal houses for it's strength and wisdom.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


An ancient king from Persian / Zoroastrain folklore. Zahhak was a just and wise king, until tempted by Ahriman (Satan,) who transformed him into a three headed-dragon like monster. Zahhak must feed the two serpent heads which sprout from his body the brains of human captives, less they turn on him and devour his own.

Friday, April 10, 2009


A Tsukumogami evolved from a piece of heavy construction equipment. He likes to eat rocks and whistle at passing women. Remember to wear your hard hat when working around him.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Kitchen Sink-Sejin

An alien from an advanced spacefaring race that just happen to look like a wrinkly Kitchen Sink, with legs and teeth.

Considering the multitude of stars and galaxies out there, it could happen.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


The Lindworm was a specific type of dragon, classified by two legs, no wings, and a long snake-like body. Some speculate that it merely refers to a stage in a dragon's growth cycle where extra wings or legs have not yet developed. Belief in Lindworms was prevalent all throughout Europe, where they were sighted in village wells and other water sources. Marco Pollo reported seeing Lindworms on the Asian steppes.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


A cross between on onion and an octopus. Originally intended to help solve the world's hunger problems, this genetic experiment has recently escaped into the wild and is slowly out breeding native octopus species.

Onion populations however do not seem affected.

Monday, April 6, 2009


When Ice cream goes bad, you have to throw it away, or it may devour your soul.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


Stories of giants are common to mythologies the world over. They are depicted as human beings of immense size, ranging from hundreds of feet tall (the Greek Gigantes,) to slightly larger than normal (Goliath of the Bible.) Usually giants are cast as the enemies of various Gods, a primordial force that must be conquered for mankind to develop. In North America the creation of many natural features are ascribed to giants, while in Europe tradition maintains that giants created the various megalithic sites such as Stonehenge. Giants have survived through the ages in folk stories and fairy tales, and are now a common adversary in popular fiction and role playing games.

Saturday, April 4, 2009


A Tsukumogami evolved from a common household hairdryer. Be careful about using him near the sink.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Alen Greys

The classic "Greys" were first reported in the mid sixties by Barney and Betty Hill, a case which has became the prototype for the alien abduction phenomena. There are two types, a shorter 3-4 ft "worker drone," and a taller, 5-6 ft master. The Worker drones seem to be artificially created by the taller controllers as servants. Both types use telepathic communication, have gray skin, frail bodies, thin necks, oversized heads, and large eyes with no pupils.

The agenda of these creatures varies depending on who you talk to - usually they abduct people along family lines, perform painful and humiliating medical experiments, create alien/human hybrids, and tag thier qarry the same way our scientists tag humpback whales. From this perspective they seem to treat humanity merely as raw material. However others report a strong environmental message underlying thier actions.

Whatever thier motives, I'm sure it's more complicated than flying billions of light years to come down and mess up a few cows, anal-probe a few farmers, blast some graffiti in a wheatfield, then get out before anyone gets a clear photograph.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


A monstrosity birthed from the disgusting unsanitary conditions in an ordinary hot dog factory. You know, we know enough now about the ingredients in these things that you probably shouldn't eat them, even if they don't have legs and aren't trying to kill you.

But dammit, they're so good...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Vicious, tentacled aliens, bred for gladiatorial fights. The Pollyoptris has no intelligence to speak of, it's only motivation is food. If not fed regularly it will fall into violent rages and attack anything that moves. They are hatched by the hundreds in space faring incubator ships, and sold to the highest bidder.